Original title: Jak przetrwać Boże Narodzenie z rodziną?

Copyright © drAga Agata Bury 2023

Cover and title page design: Agata Bury

Illustrations: Agata Bury

Editing: Agata Bury

Typesetting and layout: Agata Bury

Translation: Lingua Lab, www.lingualab.pl

Composition of eBook: Epubeum

© Copyright for this edition by drAga Agata Bury, 2023

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-83-969445-3-5

First edition, Warsaw 2023

From the Author and Publisher

This publication was created for entertainment purposes only!

Neither the publisher nor the author can be held responsible for the effects of actions taken as a result of reading this book.

It is NOT a guide, a signpost, a record of real events, a set of conduct guidelines, let alone therapeutic advice.

Before taking any action (not only related to reading this publication), remember to check the applicable laws and social norms and consult your own conscience and morals.

Remember: read at your own risk!

Kalya – I welcome you to the first episode of our special WITCHTALKS broadcast. Every month, during the full moon, we will be giving advice to our listeners as part of this broadcast. Their questions will be answered by the extraordinary people present here with me or, to be more precise, five sisters – professional witches. They are Trixie, known to all as an inventive rascal…

Trixie – A rascal, she says… I just like to have fun. Hi, everyone.

Kalya – Alika, described by some as a mean hag…

Alika – Not mean, just honest. Good evening.

Kalya – Leia, our amiable perfectionist…

Leia – Hello, everyone. I just try to do my best with the tasks I commit to.

Kalya – Also with us is Kinna, called a devious manipulator by many…

Kinna – I just try to achieve my goals. Welcome to our listeners.

Kalya – And Salvia, annoyingly nosy…

Salvia – Seeking knowledge is not a crime. Hello.

Kalya – My name is Kalya, and I will be asking our witches the questions from our listeners. The subject of this broadcast is a question that often gets asked as early as autumn – ‘How to survive Christmas with your family?’ So, let’s begin!

Kalya – The first listener question is: ‘What do I do when, under the guise of being interested in what’s going on with me, my sister calls me, and I know that, like every year, she’ll want to invite herself for an already prepared Christmas?’ Trixie, what would you advise?

Trixie – Don’t answer the phone when your sister calls.

Kalya – But what if we do pick up the phone, and something like this comes up during the conversation?

Trixie – You can always fake some crackling and say, ‘My house is driving into a tunnel, I’ll call back later,’ and call back after Christmas, maybe on Christmas Eve at the earliest.

Kalya – Okay. Alika, what would you advise?

Alika – It’s very simple. You should be direct about your thoughts and lay out your expectations. For example, ‘I would love to host you, but I have a lot of things to prepare. If you want to spend Christmas with me, come early, we’ll prepare … together, bring…,’ and then list the tasks. If your sister accepts, then fine, and if not, shame; you’ll exchange wishes over the phone, and that’s it.

Kalya – Leia?

Leia – I’d say, ‘Of course, come over’, or even invite her myself at the start of the conversation.

Kalya – Why?

Leia – If she does this every year, then this is the solution that suits her best. So, I’d suggest this to maintain good family relations. Then, I’d make a detailed list of shopping and chores with a schedule. And then I’d follow it point by point, as well as possible.

Kalya – Kinna, what do you think?

Kinna – Since the sister pulls a stunt like this every year, I would’ve already been prepared for it in autumn. If I picked up the call from her, as soon as she mentioned the upcoming Christmas, I’d steer the conversation so she wouldn’t have the chance to set me up like that. For example, I could immediately mention that I still need to make some vital repairs in the flat this year, that I have neighbours renovating all around my place, or that my financial situation or need for closeness with my family has changed. And then, I’d redirect the conversation so that this time, I’d invite myself to her house and let her do all the Christmas preparations this year. For example, you could say, ‘You know, I’m so glad it’s going to be Christmas soon. I’ve been having all sorts of trouble with my flat lately; I’d love a break from them. And, best of all, it will be a great opportunity to see you and your family. I’m looking forward to visiting you all. You won’t have to pack up with the kids and trudge to my place; best stay at yours. So, what Christmas dish should I bring?’

Kalya – Salvia?

Salvia – I’d advise grilling your sister about everything from the start of the conversation. ‘How are you? How are you doing with…? What has your husband been up to recently? How are the kids? Have they already learned to…? How are their grades at school? Do you like eating…? Have you already solved the problem with…? Are you thinking about a new job? Where are you going for New Year’s?’ and so on. It’s best to ask as many questions as possible so she won’t have time to ask if she can come or won’t want to anymore.